9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?”….. (Pr 30:9).
There’s something about the crushing weight of life that keeps us pressing into the Lord. Have you ever felt it? The weight of life? The worries and troubles? The hardships and burdens that we bear? They can quickly make us angry, bitter people. Angry at ourselves, God and others. I sense this anger towards others and my circumstances burrowing its way into my heart right now. It’s not peaceful, it brings with it trouble and greater burdens to bear.
But you see, those burdens are always the ones that I either chose to hold onto or are the ones that I choose to walk away from and let go. Will I carry this burden of carrying what people think of me or will I live each day to make my Heavenly papa proud? Will I wear the weight of shame because I messed up before others once again? When will I give up on trying and start trusting the Lord for my daily bread?
You see, when the heart is trusting, it is in a fruitful place. When you trust God with your job that seems uncertain, finances that feel scary and your life that seems so out of balance- good fruits on its way. Our faith is tested not in fruitfulness, but in the fire. I wish it was the other way around. I wish that fruitfulness was all I could see in my life, but the thing I’m learning about fruitfulness is that it grows in me, sometimes, without me knowing it. Through tiny deposits of grace, I can be at peace and at rest in my Father’s love.
Truly, this is good news. It’s good news, because it’s His news. It’s His grace, love and forgiveness that sustains me. Truly, He is the sustenance of my daily bread when life feels like its starting to crush me once again. In this I have hope, that my Heavenly Father walks with me. These are the moments in life that keep me trusting and for that, I can be thankful and rejoice.
Father, you are everything. You hold me close. You are my joy. Be my delight today, I pray, in Jesus name, Amen.