Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion…. (Pr 11:22).
When I was younger I would dress immodestly for attention. You see, there was something broken inside of me that needed mending. In my teenage mind, the only way to fix that problem was to get more people to affirm me in the ways I felt incomplete.
Beauty has a way of doing that. As the enemy twists and distorts our minds he can actually get us to believe that beauty is more about my body than it is about my heart. He twisted that story in my heart for YEARS. It wasn’t until about 7-8 years ago that I finally started to understand what beauty was all about.
Here’s the thing though, what I am finding is that the enemy takes new places in my mind to twist and distort. He goes after my job and ministry performance. He speaks words of deception into me about my role as a mother and wife. He loves to use the same tactics he did when I was a teenager to get me to believe things that just aren’t true. Therefore, creating a sense of insecurity in me where I go looking for things that really hold no value and only lead me down paths of bondage.
Truth is, I have never met a woman who isn’t beautiful, but I have met many who believe they are not. This believe simply turns into insecurity where now she must prove she is attractive and beautiful and so I see grown woman acting like I was as a 16 year old girl who was just looking for someone to affirm her as lovely and beautiful.
I’m not saying I’ve got this whole thing figured out. I still have my moments of insecurity and fear when it comes to my appearance, but they are few and far between now instead of commonplace like they used to be. I believe once we start to appreciate God more, than it’s not that we find ourselves more attractive and therefore feel better about ourselves. It’s that we find Him to be more satisfying and so we start thinking less about ourselves. The mirror isn’t our greatest concern. We’d rather spend more time looking at other people than at ourselves.
So today I’m resting in the fact that the most beautiful parts of me are unseen. It’s my heart and the time, energy and attention I give to loving others. Yes, that is the most beautiful gift I can give the world and that is something I long to grow within me.
Father, thank you that you have made me beautiful and that you are making me even more lovely as I grow in my love for you and for others. Use my life to draw others to your Son, Jesus, I pray, Amen.