Give us aid against the enemy, for human help is worthless….(Psalm 62:11)
I used to look to people to rescue me and get me out of situations. I would think to myself, “If they would just do this, that will change this situation or make it better!” In many ways, I still do that today. Not to the same degree, but I still place a lot of trust and hope in things outside of my control, hoping they bring me a sense of safety and security, but what I’m starting to realize is that once I get past the one thing that I feared, the enemy just starts to weave a new message of fear or shame in my heart. Telling myself I should have done things differently and had I, things wouldn’t have the potential to turn out the way that they could.
Did you catch that? The potential, yes I often fear things that haven’t even happened yet, but are things the enemy tries to convince me will. I often take the blame for it or look for someone else to blame in it. I have a hard time accepting that maybe God is working in my situation, even if things don’t turn out all that great. So that He can bring me to a deeper place of abiding and trust in Him.
A dear friend said to me yesterday, “Heather, sometimes things do happen when we don’t want them to, because God wants to provide for us a different way than we expected.” I know that’s true, because I’ve lived it, but for some reason there’s this little twinge of doubt in the back of my mind that says, “Ok, but what if He doesn’t?”
I believe what God is showing me through some of my present circumstances is that there’s a deeper place of healing He’s trying to get me to, so I’m submitting each fear to Him, moment by moment so I can find the grace that I need from Him. No longer allowing the enemy to wrap fear around my heart and mind, but allowing His Spirit to write a new song in my heart and mind as I look to Him as my help, provider and strength. Knowing that He is good, even if what I fear happens does actually take place.
Lord, you have always shown yourself to be trustworthy and good. Why would I ever doubt your love. Your mercies are new for me every morning. That is good news. May I trust in those mercies each and every moment of the day, in Jesus name, Amen.