Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. (Pr 12:16).
The other night while lying in bed asleep, my sweet husband, simply wanting to care for me and make sure I was OK noticed that I seemed to be messing with my eye while I was sleeping. He thought that I was awake and since I developed a stye in my eye I really wasn’t supposed to be touching it. He turns to me and says, “Heather, are you OK?”
In my sleepy slumber, extremely out of character, I whipped my head around and blurt out (just like a enraged 3 year old), “WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME!?!” Then, just as quickly as I whipped my head one way I whipped it back the other and put myself back to sleep.
I’m sure my husband was very thrown off considering I’m not normally a reactor, but more of a responder in situations. We laughed about it the next day. I had a vague memory of the incident and he, of course, remembered it in great detail.
Something can be said about our need to be more patient with others, can’t it? Just yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend telling her how God has been teaching me that what I think about people really matters, because if I tell myself a bad story about them, then instead of responding to them in love when things happen, I’ll react out of the bad story I’ve been telling myself about them.
Our strong reactions towards things, instead of slow responses simply reveals our fears and insecurities. The times when my strongest reactions have surfaced have simply been when someone has stepped on one of my land mines of insecurity.
The Proverbs say that fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. Whenever I snap at people because they’ve annoyed me, it’s always because, in my mind, they didn’t meet my standards or expectations of them. It’s really a pride issue in me. Instead of overlooking offenses we feel the need to squash the people who offend us so we can mold them into different people by impressing our fears upon them through anger or shame tactics.
Friend, it’s time to let go of all that. Let go of your fear, insecurity and pride. It’s time to let go of the things that keep you from responding well to people. Your reactions not only hurt them, but they create unsafe places for people to journey with you. You can only do that so much until people just stop opening their heart to you. Hurt them enough and they will shut you out emotionally. Their heart can’t handle all the strong reactions, they need someone willing to respond in love.
Father, I want to be kind and slow to anger with other people. Please make me more like you, in Jesus name, Amen.
Heather Quiroz 