Do You Make People Feel Unseen?

 Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart….Proverbs 25:20

The other day I shared with someone about a struggle I was facing. For some reason, she didn’t acknowledge what I said. Instead, she smiled, said something positive and quickly moved on from what I had shared with her. That brief interaction made me feel unseen.

I know that wasn’t her intention, but trying to throw a positive smile on an opportunity to pray separates us from bringing the Kingdom of God into someone’s life. To be honest, I’ve done that though too. Maybe I’m in a hurry so I don’t have time to acknowledge someone else’s pain. Maybe I wasn’t really listening, but just engaging with them because I felt obligated to start a conversation. There are countless reasons I have dismissed an opportunity to be the love of God to someone in the depth of their pain.

Over the years, I have learned the immensely powerful value of simply saying, “Please, tell me more,” or “How can I pray.” Another valuable tool I have learned is the gift of simply repeating back what they said to me, “So you said you’re going through a hard time right now?” This simple tool nearly always opens up the floodgates of what’s really going on. It’s a tool I try to use when I’m being attentive enough to listen and wise enough to be the love of God when someone needs it most.

Positivity is great, but sometimes what a person needs first is a friend who’s willing to sit with them in their struggle. Friend, that’s how we pull them out, not with a smile, but with a heart that is willing to sit with theirs.

Lord, I want to be your love to the world. Help me to set aside my time and agenda to care for hurting people. I want to be Jesus to them. Help me grow into that, each day, in Jesus name, Amen.